My Immortal
by ElizabethV
Summary: Songfic- based on Evanescence's song with the same name. It's basically my take on what happens to Chloe- why she isn't in Superman. Mostly Clark angst about her.


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My Immortal

I wrote this kind of on a spur of the moment thing- I was just listening to my Evanescence CD (it's good!) and started thinking about something a friend told me- which was basically that, she'd heard, Chloe would eventually die. :( But, that got me started on this story about what happens to Chloe, or rather, Clark's thoughts about life without Chloe. Hope you like it, it's kind of sad though- wasn't exactly in a very chipper mood.

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Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, no matter how much I want them to be.

P.S. I don't really know Chloe's favorite drink so I made it up. And I am not good at coming up with titles, so it's the name of the song.

Clark sat there, alone. Lana was serving coffee to the customers, trying bravely to put on a strong front for her boyfriend. She smiled sympathetically when she saw him, barely holding back the tears herself. Pete was at home, unwilling to speak to Clark after what happened. He blamed Clark for it, all of it. Clark knew that he was at least partly responsible, and that made the feeling intensify. Hurt, pain, sadness, sorrow, anguish, guilt above all. They were all mixed up and tearing him apart from the inside.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all of my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

He felt Chloe's presence, but he knew it was impossible. She was dead. She'd gone too far- made a deal with Lionel Luthor because of Clark, then realized her mistake and in doing so, crossed the line. She'd investigated from the inside, found out too much, and Lionel had realized the threat she was. He'd had the threat contained. Everyone in Smallville knew what Lionel was capable of, they just never thought they'd see the day he used his power- all of it. Chloe's car accident was no real accident- that much was obvious to everyone. It was too coincidental, too planned, too methodical, but above all- too unexpected. She'd shut herself up for months now; not talking to anyone but a select few. She'd ignored Clark outright, feeling far too hurt and not being able to face him without rehashing past emotions. Nobody knew what she was doing. She'd become an enigma, everyone wondered about her, but knew better than to do or say anything. She'd ended contact with Clark just after Lex's wedding and only spoke to Lana because they lived together. She claimed Pete was the only friend she had left in school, nobody else.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Clark had never expected this, never seen it coming. He'd been too wrapped up in his relationship with Lana. Too unavailable. He remembered Chloe saying something similar to this years before- something along the lines of everyone else disappearing when he was with Lana. It was true. Clark held back tears at the realization that she was right- she had been all along. He glanced at Lana and shook his head. It would have to end. He would have to stop. Stop ignoring others for just one person, stop repressing himself to make her happy; start appreciating what he has in front of him. He'd never truly appreciated Chloe, he realized that now. He'd used her. She'd been his information buddy- the one he'd gone to if he needed to know something, the one he'd always failed to really notice. He loved her. Maybe not the same way he loved Lana, but love nonetheless. Chloe had never been anything but a true friend to him. She'd always been there to support him, to help him, and in return he'd depreciated her, cut her off. Now he understood why she'd done what she had. She'd been hurt- just as he was now. Clark sighed and took a sip of his coffee- caramel frappuccino, Chloe's favorite.

When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

He remembered the many times he'd saved Chloe. Especially when she'd been buried alive at Chandler's Field. How he wished it could be that easy. He wished he could just find her, unbury her, and have her fall into his arms, alive. He remembered the exact words she'd said to him. "I knew it was you. It's always you." He hadn't thought anything of it at the time.

He also remembered Ian. When he'd held Chloe in his arms, just to be diverted by Lana's screams for help. He hadn't gone back to Chloe. She'd lain there, while Lana was in his arms. He wished he could have now, gone back to hold Chloe. He would do anything for just one last smile, one last glance, one last moment to share with her.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Chloe always had something about her that could capture his attention. Her bright smile, her bubbly and spunky personality, her perk, her vivacity, the way she'd never give up... She would always try to do the right thing, like Clark in that respect. Even when she'd invited Lana to live with her, knowing how much it would hurt her to have Lana stay in town and have Clark drool over her even more. Clark remembered the way she looked at the spring formal- dressed in pink with a dazzling smile when she picked him up. He'd hurt her then- the beginning of a spiral of pain for her. Clark truly regretted his actions and choices. Every action has a consequence, he'd learned that lesson multiple times, and yet he'd never really learned it until now.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Clark took a deep breath. He tried to be strong, but suppressing emotions wasn't a part of his super powers. He reminded himself that life would go on; Chloe was happy now. Everything would work out for the best.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

Lana approached Clark and quietly sat in the seat next to him. She smiled at him through the tears, offering sympathy and understanding. Lana embraced Clark warmly.

"It'll be OK, Clark." She consoled. "Time heals all wounds." Clark shook his head.

"No." He said quietly. He broke away from Lana and gazed at her intensely. "Things have to change. I have to change." He asserted. He didn't want to repeat the same mistake twice- drive someone away and have them go too far. Lana looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Clark..." She began, but Clark slowly, painfully, stood and walked out of the Talon. Out of her life. Lana watched him go, her distress multiplying, and the tears poured out of her face.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

Chloe watched the scene from the back table in the Talon. Her disguise was perfect. She'd gotten help from the best there was available. Lex had helped her change her identity completely. She was no longer Chloe Sullivan; instead she was Samantha Hale. She'd dyed her hair, gotten a new wardrobe, gotten a new social security number and birth certificate, gone all out. All she'd had left to do was die. Lex had helped her there too. He knew of her involvement with her father. He'd been one of the few people she could actually talk to in the last year. Crazy as it was, he'd become her best friend, and now he was with her to guide her to her new life. They'd known about Lionel's plans and had acted accordingly- Lex had thoroughly planned a plot that had fooled everyone. Now Lionel and all the other citizens of Smallville believed her to be dead, and she was. Chloe Sullivan was no more; she was dead to the world. Samantha Hale's life, however, was just beginning. Chloe looked at Lex with grief in her eyes.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out like this." Lex comfortingly placed his hand above hers. He offered a small smile.

"It never is Samantha." Chloe, or Samantha, nodded. She'd have to adjust to her new identity.

"So where am I going?" She asked as they walked out of the Talon together. Nobody asked a thing, nobody even confronted them- they knew better than to mess with a Luthor now. Lex opened the door of his limo for her.

"Metropolis." He answered as he slid in next to her. "I got you enrolled in high school there. You'll be an independent minor- but I'll send you money for support." She nodded.

"Thank you, Lex." She paused, glancing back at Smallville as the limo pulled away. "It's funny. I always complained about Smallville, I used to dream of the day when I'd go back to Metropolis. Now I realize," She took a deep breath, holding back tears of her own. "I'll really miss it."


End file.
